by Karolyn Hart

In the last eight days I have easily met with over 40 men and only 3 ladies.  When you spend so much time alone in the male world it is inevitable that conversations will turn to the difference between men and women.  Having spent such a significant amount of time with men they are often surprised (I would even dare to say delighted) when I share how I think women could make men’s lives so much easier.

Have you ever noticed how many self-help books are aimed at women?  It’s amazing to me but women simply can’t help it.  From the moment we are born it is hard wired in us to become experts at relationships.  I hear countless women talk about how disappointed they are that their men aren’t excited to learn about making their relationships better. 

It’s the same scenario played out in living rooms across the nation.  The man sits in a chair, relaxed after a long hard day, he’s about to reach for the remote when all his hairs stand on.  His wife smiles sweetly holding (dramatic music sounds up here) a book! Dum Dum Dummm.

For the next hour he tries really really hard to follow her ramblings. Meanwhile, she attempts to engage in a conversation of her book worthy of Oprah’s book club with the hope of creating a meaningful breakthrough moment like the one she saw on Dr.Phil.   

The fact is ladies, that men are told all the time that they need to be more sensitive, more romantic, more attentive, more loving, and let’s face it - just generally more! But who is telling the women when it’s time for them to take it down a level?

Now, before you get all worked up let’s all agree on one thing - it is good that men and women are different! I made a statement this week to a group of men that I think the reason my marriage has grown into success is that I don’t expect my husband to be my “girlfriend”.  The response I received was overwhelming they all said “Yessss!!!!!”

Now some of you are saying “Typical.  Men just want to be lazy and not put the effort in.”  Well, I can tell you that these men are definitely not the lazy type. In fact, we spent a good deal of time talking on their relationships and what they love about the women in their life.  One even went on to say that the woman in his life is perfect! (Insert the ahhhhhh here that we women do!)

The fact is that we men and women simply communicate differently.  There is one thing that we women can do that will make the difference to men and it is something we do NOT do with our girlfriends. 

Ready?

Curious?

Ok here it is…GET TO THE POINT. No really - just summarize the hour conversation you had prepared.

Ugh! How insensitve!  How unromantic!  You argue to yourself in your head…”But I am eloquent! I am witty! I am captivating!” You continue the argument “It’s just not the same if I don’t explain the details of every single thing because it all works together!”

Here’s the thing - no it doesn’t. At least  not for him.

The fact is that men need your summed up version of your grandiose story.  While we women feel inspired and connected by the sharing of every detail, men are wondering what the heck the colour of your friend’s dress had to do with the reason you decided to buy a different pair of shoes.

Yet, because they love us they try.  They listen and they really really do try! If you haven’t seen the video by Toby Keith “I Wanna Talk About Me” do yourself a favour and watch it right now. It will be sure to make you laugh.

For those of you that are really really struggling there is a book that will help you understand this one topic along with what makes men and women communicate so different. The book is called “Love & Respect” and I guarantee it will make you understand some of the differences and get you a step closer to really understanding your man.

So just how different are men and women?
My husband just called and asked me what I was working on.  I told him I was writing an article on “How to Speak Man”.  He paused and asked with surprise “Your writing an article on sex?”

That’s another topic for another day

Filed under: Author Karolyn, Relationships