by Karolyn Hart    

Ever been betrayed?
By a friend? A family member? A loved one?  I think at some point everyone has and boy does it hurt.  It’s hard to believe when it happens that anything good could ever come out of it but the truth is that it is an opportunity to truly grow, become stronger, and re-evaluate your life.

Everyone knows that I’m a professing Christian. No offense to many - but “big” deal right? I mean, lots of people give themselves the title of “Christian” and it really is only that - a title.  The difference is that I really AM TRYING to be  a Christian, a Christ follower and so I look to what he says to handle my life.  On the point of betrayal he says I have one option - Forgiveness. 

Forgiveness allows you to give a relationship a future after someone has hurt you. When you forgive you are letting go of the past - you can’t change it anyways so it makes sense. When you forgive you open your heart to experience a love that can only be described as transforming. When that type of love happens it not only changes you but those who have betrayed you in a magnificent way.

THIS is what being human is about. We can choose to offer forgiveness when that person doesn’t deserve it. We can choose to love when our enemies deserve hate. It’s a miracle that happens.

Sadly, many people hold on to their hatred, their “justification” for their hurt and it ends up turning them into a shell.  Years pass by filled with resentment and the only person they end up hurting is themselves.

Who are you harbouring resentment against?
Is their someone in your life that you are choosing to not forgive for a hurt they’ve inflicted on you? Most people don’t realize it but they are walking around with a bunch of resentments that includes, family, parents, bosses, co-workers, loved ones, and friends.  Maybe they broke a promise to you, maybe they were just big jerks - but trust me when I say that forgiveness will give you freedom while resentment will lock you into only one way of ever seeing them and the situation.

The fact is that we are much more complicated then one sided beings.  A person who mistreated you today could be the same person that protects another tomorrow.  You (who are so justified in your pain) could be unknowingly lashing out and hurting those you consider close. This all create a vicious cycle. The only option to stop it, is to forgive.

This morning I realized just how powerful forgiveness can be.
It allows you to give a gift to this world. It releases you to focus your energies where it really matters and not focus on something that has happened in your past. It makes your future bright. It makes your life illuminated. That doesn’t mean you won’t have moments of sadness but it means that sadness does not control you. It also makes you appreciate everything.

For me the best reminder of why I must forgive is that I was forgiven when I didn’t deserve it. Christ didn’t have to do what he did - but he did and the world has never been the same since.

Filed under: Author Karolyn, Relationships