Growing Old

by Mary Lou Roe ©

I live a life where awful things happen…regularly. Tragic death at an early age is a common occurrence in my extended family. Nine first cousins have died young, not to mention my newborn niece, my father and dear friends. It has devastated my family. It has shaped how I feel about growing old.

For me, growing old is a blessing! Every morning I wake-up is reason to celebrate. I have been given another day! I have more time. More time to mindfully treasure every single thing I love about my world. More time to embrace endless possibilities. More time to become the person I want to be.

I didn’t always feel this way.

I used to bounce through the years oblivious to who I was and what I wanted from my existence. I made hasty decisions that didn’t enrich my world or nurture my soul. I received a university degree in a field that wasn’t my passion. I spent years at various jobs without loving my work. I married the wrong man and nearly lost myself in the process. My path was a muddle of clumsy choices that led nowhere.

I was wasting time.

An unrelenting succession of tragedies snapped me out of my inattentive stupor. Beautiful lives were being cut short all around me. My loved ones were disappearing; their potential for living long and satisfying lives, evaporating. And suddenly I understood.

Growing old was not a guarantee.

This realization transformed my world. I finally grasped that today was the only day I had to create a life I loved. I had no time to waste on meaningless pursuits. No time to fret about the physical and social symptoms of getting older. Every new day meant I was still here! Every waking moment was another glorious opportunity to live consciously, happily and with fulfillment.

So after years of drifting aimlessly, I changed course. Armed with clarity and a determination to cherish every second, I began the journey to a fulfilling life. I left the miserable marriage and found myself. I went back to university and completed a program I loved. I married the right man and had a beautiful baby. I embarked on a brand new career with zeal.

I found joy.

For me, growing old isn’t a guarantee. It is a gift beyond measure. To grow old means I can fulfill any vision I have for myself and my world. It means I am knowingly present to enjoy the moments that fill my heart with delight. The warmth of my son in my arms. A simple cup of tea. The crisp air in winter. The love I share with my partner.

It means I have been given more time.