by Jackie Savi-Cannon

My husband and I went to the funeral of our friend’s husband a few months ago. Wayne was at peace after a long road with ALS. Lou-Anne, his wife, ensured his last years were all about fulfilling dreams and wishes. They made sure to do as much living as possible and not focus on how much time was left. I admired their strength and devotion to each other. For the prayers and visitation, Lou-Anne put out photos of all their many trips and played a touching video of all their memories they had created together.

Emotions were running high for my husband, Jay and I because without saying it out loud, we both knew that it could have been us in the pictures and the video could have been a diary of my memories, given my recent experience with Breast Cancer. There was an unspoken gratitude mixed with our sympathy fro Wayne’s family.

“What fills the gap?”
During the funeral service, someone read the poem, The Dash by Linda Ellis. This poem reminded us to focus on what the dash between the year of our birth and the year of our death represents. What is it that fills that gap in time? This simple image of the dash represents the importance of focusing on what we have done with our time on this planet as opposed to fixating on the duration. It is not about how much time we have. Instead, it is about how we are experiencing this time.

All too often we focus our thoughts on the past and/or future. Two things that distract us from the present. Our past is a map that brought us to where we are today. Good, bad or ugly; our past is what it is. Accept that your past has led you to the point you are at now. It is woven into the fabric of who you are. Instead of analyzing why the past occurred, determine how your past can help you move in the direction you wish.

Thoughts of the future can become complicated but do not need to be. When you find yourself contemplating your future, focus on how you want to feel in your upcoming days. Let those feelings determine the course you plot for your future. Do you want more love, job satisfaction, greater self esteem, health, friendship? If you focus on what you feel through out your days, you will be able to seek out what you need to create more of these feelings. This also keep your plans authentic and true to what you need. In following this truth, it frees you of the worries whether you are doing the right thing. Your days do not have to be perfect, they rarely are for any of us. However, each day should include some attempt, small or large, in achieving the feelings you have committed to pursuing.

“Unsure is OK…”
If you are not quite sure of what you want to fill your future with, start by taking time to figure it out. Spend some quality time being honest with yourself. Decide what is working and what needs to change in order to bring more of these feelings you desire. Once you honestly acknowledge your starting point, you can then begin traveling toward your destination. You can create a dash that is rich with abundance, fulfillment and no regrets.

Filed under: Author Jackie, Jackie Savi-Cannon, Life